WARNING: (ADULT-ERY) - Any adult who dishonors their wedding vows will "eventually ruin yourself."

When I hear or read the word "adultery," I cannot help but question if the letters "e-r-y" might have been a message from the beginning of time that would define the end results of what would happen to individuals who commit the act of adultery. After all, it seems ruination is the final outcome when a spouse is caught cheating on their partner.

I'm not defending it, and I am certainly not promoting it. Under no circumstances should adultery be excused or explained, but this behavior is occurring on a daily basis all around the world. As difficult as it is to acknowledge, there is usually a reason a partner steps out.

The best advice I can give to couples who've found themselves in this debacle but wish to salvage their marriage is to first ask the question: "Where did I fail you? What did I do that made you want to go elsewhere to have your needs met?"

To me, that is one of the most humbling and forgiving questions a human being can ask because it lets the partner know that they are acknowledging their own faults, failures and iniquities and are willing to give hope a try.

On the other hand, he or she could be a low-down dirty deadbeat that won't ever be faithful and is overdue for his/her permanent kick to the curb.

Whatever the case, adultery most often occurs when a partner's needs aren't being met. If you suspicion your spouse is involved with another or think he or she might be on the verge of breaking their marital vows, the following are some common reasons a spouse might go on a cheating spree:

(1) Communication breakdown
(2) Neglecting one's emotional desires
(3) Sexual withdrawal
(4) Prolonged absence from the home
(5) Good deeds on the part of one spouse go unrecognized and unappreciated
(6) Repeatedly making derogatory remarks towards a spouse
(7) Continued disrespect towards a spouse
(8) Complete control of the finances, children and overall family household decisions
(9) A spouse becomes consumed with the children and ignores the needs and desires of their partner
(10) Showing little, if any, support and encouragement towards a spouse
(11) Constant complaining, nagging and negative attitude on the part of a spouse
(12) Hypochondriac

Perhaps your partner has addressed some of the above concerns in an effort to correct marital issues. On many occasions, they were tuned out or ignored because one party didn't want to admit to or acknowledge any marriage constraints. It is vitally important to pay attention to the needs and concerns of your spouse. If the problems persist over an extended period of time, the spouse suffering from SAS (Selective Auditory Syndrome) might eventually be replaced by another.

In other words, if you don't keep up the plumbing, the toilet may go out.

 Written by Kathryn Kaufmann. The above article may not be cut, pasted, forwarded, copied or reused.

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